My Blog...

I like an order to things, especially a chronological one, so it's with some regret that I have to interrupt my posts of my travels (and travails) over Christmas with a totally unrelated article.

You see, the trauma of losing my handphone, as well as all the information inside it, has still not ebbed and I am rendered relatively inarticulate.

That said, a friend of a friend told me recently that she prefers reading Jac's blog...

"Her writing's more readable," she said. "At least she doesn't try to show off"

"B-but... I don't try to show off, I said. "And my writing's readable!"

"Take your appeal to anybody who had a spare handphone and was willing to lend it to you for a day, for example..."

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My Friends,

I am grievously stripped and naked, for in the morn, providence dictated that I was parted with my handphone in circumstances as unwitting as the loss was unwilling. I do beseech and implore you all thus, most beloved friends and/or colleagues (or both):- If thou be possessed, in the nearby environs, of more than one unit of the said contraption mentioned above such that no utile would be served to let said contraption lie idle and metaphorically festerant in a drawer, cabinet, armoire or any otherwise concealed circumstances, to find the rare charity to verily lend me the same for a few score hours, after which I would, having been given most fortunate respite, have opportunity to find the safe haven of my abode without being ravaged by the vagaries which plague life’s travelers who attempt to traverse the meridiens without the tools that make life bearable, if not liveable.

And you would thusly have my word and attendant bond that upon the rectifying amelioration of my deficient circumstances, I will verily, without need for express demand, render the borrowed item back into your possession with urgent dispatch.

Your Most Sincere But Troubled Colleague,
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"I'm not even sure it even makes sense, if half the words you used even exist" she said.

"It probably doesn't, and they probably don't. But that's the point. People still get what I'm trying to say even if I coin words because it's all context. It's humorous, and besides, in response to critics, I sent another e-mail appeal using more... proletarian language..."

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Oh I’m Sorries,

Peoples says they canst understands me.

All I wants to says is that this morning I loss my handphones and I very sad.

But lives must goes on and I tells myselfs to be strong. But in the meantimes, if anybody has got a spares handphones in the office, can lend me? I sure return wan and I whole live loves you (as a fren only, of course).

Once again, thanX. With lots of KISSES….

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"That's still showing off. She said. Besides, Beng-speak is not like that. You're not a natural.... It's all about balance," she added.

Balance... I tink hor, dat perchance people verily misunderstand my intentions. But neh mind... I will continue to bear wif fortitude and forbearance any criticism which people say 2 me wan....