Looking For A Male Friend!!!

Ok, this is not another cheap gimmick or another plaintive attempt to garner readership.

This is a serious topic up for discussion, borne out of a talk I recently had over lunch with a colleague (my manager actually).

"Ugh... My best friend is on holiday. Jac's busy, ST is away on work and AA is tied up the whole week.... I've got nothing to do. I'm so bored!!!" said I.

"Wait a minute," replied my manager, as he finished his dumpling soup. "Aren't all of the above-mentioned girls?

"Err.. Yes. So what? Are you sexist?"

"No, no. It's just that most guys, when their girlfriends are busy, go hang out with their guy friends, like shoot some pool, down some beer. You know? And... The thing with having best friends who are female is that for some unknown reason, they all tend to be indisposed at the same time - and what happens when they get attached or married or what have you? So while that's more than enough close friends to have who are female, most guys have close guy friends as well, so that instead of having to look for alternative company within a category, they get to plow through a totally different subset of friends."

And that set me thinking. It is true that all my best buddies, platonic or otherwise (now, I sure wouldn't have to clarify this if my best friends were guys) are girls, or women. Even in the workplace, the colleagues, apart from my manager, with whom I lunch most often are female.

It's not by choice, but I guess I realised from a long time ago that I'm not really a 'Guy's Guy'. Don't get me wrong, I love sports, I crack dirty jokes as well as the best of them and I simply adore the aesthetics of the opposite sex. But I guess I'm also far too sentimental, I rue a lot and cry over spilt milk. I don't smoke, drink, dance and while I love admiring beauty when it passes by, I am not into 'conquests', one-night stands and the like. I am not a 'player'.

But perhaps more importantly, I actually listen to the issues which my female friends have, their identity, relationship, mid-life and sometimes existential, crises. I have, on more than one occasion, willingly taken a phone call late at night from a wailing best friend, persuading her that it was not the end of the world that her dream man had left her.

But isn't that what girls do - cry on one's shoulder - with their GIRLfriends? I'm sure they do just that but I guess that -as far as relationship issues are concerned - not only do I offer an uncomplaining listening ear, I also chip in with a very heterosexual male point of view. And I think it helps that I am unbiased too, judging by the number of times I have further berated an already disconsolate friend for her appalling behaviour, telling her that even after hearing only her side of the story, I think the breakup was the best thing to happen to HIM.

But that is only one side of the story, for I think my best friends are some of the most obliging, tolerant and understanding people. I also think that equally important, they are very, very cool. They may like to shop and take pictures of the food that they eat (why does every one of them do that?) but prissy and prudish this lot is not. They have (not all at the same time, of course) trudged with me in the back alleys of Malaysia, in the sweltering heat in Vietnam and through the undulating terrain in China. They mix it up effortlessly when it comes to dirty jokes and they cuss fluently in more than one language. Who needs guy friends when you have friends like this?

But I digress. Back to my original premise. If there are any eligible, single guys out there who like sports, ogling at, talking about girls (and occasionally more pressing problems like work, the world at large and world peace) and/or simply just chilling out in a pub with a live-band, do let me know.

I'd be happy for your company when (and only when) my present lot of best friends are unavailable. For I wouldn't substitute that lot for anything or anybody else, given a choice.

And to all my close friends who have listened to me whine, rage and complain all these years - and you guys (gals mostly!) know who you are - thanks so much!!!