Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The Last Few Years - Israel

Hi Folks,

For those of you who don't know me that well but still read my blog, or used to read it but gave up due to the paucity of posts, or are wondering what I was up to, amidst the ostensible gloom and doom of the past few years, I give you my last few years in pictures.

Things are in a flux now (were they ever not) and the next few weeks, months, years will be really unpredictable, so that is as good an excuse as any for just dumping the photos wholesale here without much commentary....

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Ok, so where do I start?

At the end of 2011, I went on a two week exchange programme at Tel Aviv University in Israel. I stayed in the Cinema Hotel.

Israel is known as Start-Up Nation so apart from having classes in the University Campus and sightseeing, we visited quite a few companies.

(I know... I like really dumped the pictures right? But oh well, it's been that kind of a year that I can't bear to look closely and reminisce upon a different life. Which is a pity, cos some of the places were really noteworthy and of historical significance... So there)

Monday, October 7, 2013

Blast From The Past - Putrajaya

I happened to be looking through my Blog and I saw that there was a post under Draft. I realised it was something that I was writing about way back in 2011, when I was still an avid poster. And then I realised that I had found the cut-off point from when I stopped blogging regularly.

Below was what I had written as a continuation to my series of posts about a journey my Dad and I had taken to KL to watch Liverpool in 2011.

Things were certainly different then. I had not started my MBA, life was less complicated... I was not yet a cancer patient... And Dad was still here... See the bounce in my writing below?:-

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Putrajaya is Malaysia's fairly new administrative capital, where all the ministries and most government bodies are found. It is also relatively close to both Bukit Jalil and Bandar Tasik Selatan, from where we were to catch our ride home, which is why I chose to stay there for the second day.

Having stayed in spartan conditions for the first day, I couldn't put my 73-year-old Dad through another like ordeal, could I? So we stayed at the Putrajaya Shangri-la. Not that we had a lot of cheaper alternatives, for Putrajaya is like a Malaysian city unlike no other, where the roads are clean the streets are lit by ornate street lamps and where bridges criss-cross and a beautiful lake. If I am not wrong Wikitravel referred to it as Malaysia's "megalomaniac new administrative" capital. There are thus only 5-star hotels there.

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These were the pictures I was going to post then but somehow did not. I do so now, more than two years too late...

They are all jumbled up, like my life since then. I would have then, but I will neither sort nor describe them now...

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Walking The Talk

A long time ago, just after I suffered a very bad broken leg and fluffed my A levels because of a bad relationship, my Dad asked me what I planned to do and if I had any regrets.

I answered with conviction then that it was just like a poker game. I had foolishly traded in my Aces for Twos - or so some thought. But that everyone would stop and watch when I opened Two after Two after Two after Two - 4 of a kind.

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I miss my Dad so much these days. It is just like yesterday when we were just sitting down watching football together. Yesterday's ATM - Lions XII game brought back so many memories.

But he has moved on - he was brave to the end - he truly walked tall and strong, silently without the talk. I am now faced with uncertainty and a challenge far greater than any I have ever faced before. I don't know if I have any more cards to be dealt, let alone how to find my 4 of a Kind. But I still remember how I once talked the talk.

Now to execute. I will try to walk the walk in my Dad's memory. And I hope even though I do not see him, he is walking with me.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Last Few Days....

Hi,

It has been tough. Over the last few days, I have gone for an ENT and a gastroenterological scope, which turned out clear.

But now they suspect that there is quite a large sized melanoma in my left eye. That is obviously not a good thing. I won't say more. Maybe not much more over here from now on. Those who still read this probably know how to reach me privately.

Please pray for me.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Last Few Weeks

I am not going to give any introduction to segue into this. I will just tell it straight what has happened in the last few weeks.

For a while now, I thought my peripheral vision was fading so a few weeks back, when one of my friends suggested I get my left eye checked out, I thought why not. I wanted a quick response and I didn't think very much would ensue so I went to the Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre, where I knew there would be a multitude of eye specialist clinics which I could walk into, as opposed to a government setup, where I would need to get an appointment.

After examination of my eyes, I was told that I had a detached retina and would need an operation soon. As the doctor told me that I could have an operation at Mount Alvernia the next day and because I thought there would be nothing more, I agreed to it, even though the cost was a lot more expensive than if I went to a government hospital.

I went for the op, which I was told was a success. The surgeon however said that he saw a small black mass which looked like an old blood clot after draining the water from my eye. He did not think it was anything sinister but said I should get it checked anyway. As such, a few days later, I was referred to Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH), where a series of tests were done, including an ultrasound and angiogram of the eye. After the tests, the examining doctor opined that it was more likely that the mass was a tumor rather than a blood clot, though he could not rule out infection either. In the premises, because primary tumors originating in the eye was very rare for young Asian males, he was of the view that there was a likelihood that the mass in the eye was a manifestation of a cancer that has metastacised from another primary source in the body. I was thus referred to an oncologist who would go through a thorough work-up with me.

For the next week or so, I went through a battery of tests, including a cancer markers, urine and stool test, a PET Scan and an MRI of the orbit and the brain. Waiting for the results of the tests was agonising, the two hours spent at the oncologist's clinic waiting to be called into his room among the most painfully long. They reminded me of the time spent on the AirAsia flight back last year just after I had been told of my Dad's passing.

The results of the tests were generally clear. They suggested that there was no cancer or suspicious activity in other parts of the body. The technician commenting on the MRI suggested that the mass could either be as a result of haemmorhage or a growth. Discouragingly (for me at least), the PET scan, which goes on glucose metabolism, did show that the mass in the eye showed mild avidity, which means that it was metabolizing glucose faster than the rest of the surrounding tissue.

I next saw a uveal specialist at TTSH who said he was asked to hunt for TB of the eye. He said that there was no way of conclusively finding out what the mass was except via a biopsy, which meant cutting up the eye again - which may be a bit too soon after the operation. So he suggested that I should start trial TB treatment soon to see if there was any response from the mass in the eye. I then saw my oncologist again, who seemed mildly surprised that the eye doctors would suddenly think it was no longer a tumor but a growth borne out of TB. I thought that it was because he had been in touch with the eye specialists at TTSH and had told them the results but apparently he had not spoken to them. That in turn surprised me, because the uveal specialist looked apprised of the latest cancer test results. Now I do not know if he was.

In between, I had seen the eye specialist who conducted my original retina re-attachment - he didn't seem to know all that had transpired. And yesterday, I saw the TB specialist at TTSH who did not seem to know what had happened leading up to my treatment for eye TB. All that she would say was that eye TB was also very rare and that she did not think results would show in the eye after just a few weeks.

Tomorrow, I see again the uveal specalist who had recommended TB treatment. Over the past few weeks, I have been looked at by four different doctors - two from the field on opthalmology, one each from oncology and TB. I am no closer to finding out conclusively what, if anything, is wrong with me. I have been to for different hospitals - Mt E, Mt Alvernia, TTSH and Gleneagles and have gone through a 5 different tests.

I hope that all turns out fine. For all those of you who still read my blog, do pray for me and wish me well.